Helping a Loved One Cope After a Miscarriage
Feb 05, 2025
Supporting a loved one after a miscarriage is about showing up with compassion, understanding, and patience.
Even if you’re unsure of the “right” thing to say or do, your willingness to be present and empathetic can make all the difference. Offering steady support during their healing journey is a reminder they don’t have to face it alone.
Gago Center for Fertility provides advanced fertility services in and around Brighton, Lansing, and Ann Arbor, Michigan. We also develop compassionate, caring relationships with people undergoing the challenges of infertility, including those who’ve experienced a miscarriage.
While everyone grieves differently, there are some universal ways you can help a loved one feel less alone during this challenging time.
One of the most important things you can do is simply be there. Let them express their emotions — sadness, anger, confusion, or guilt — without trying to offer solutions.
Often, just having someone listen without judgment can be healing. Our Gago Center for Fertility team recommends avoiding phrases like “It wasn’t meant to be” or “You can try again,” as they can minimize their pain.
Instead, say things like, “I’m here for you” or “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.”
Recognize that miscarriage is a significant loss. It’s okay to refer to it as losing a baby if that’s how they perceive it. Follow their lead.
Validating their emotions and grief lets them know their experience matters. Avoid brushing past the topic or acting like it didn’t happen; silence can feel like dismissal.
Grieving can make day-to-day responsibilities feel overwhelming. Offer specific assistance, such as cooking meals, babysitting other children, running errands, or keeping them company.
Saying something like, “Let me know if you need anything,” is well-meaning but vague. Instead, offer specific, practical help such as, “Can I drop off dinner on Wednesday?” or “Would you like me to do the grocery shopping this week?”
Sometimes, the grief of miscarriage can lead to feelings of isolation or even depression. Gently suggest they consider speaking with a therapist or joining a support group. Knowing they’re not alone and that others have faced similar struggles can be comforting.
Mark significant dates, such as the due date or the anniversary of the miscarriage, on your calendar. Reaching out with a thoughtful message, card, or flowers on those days can show your loved one you remember and care. These gestures let them know their loss isn’t forgotten.
Grieving takes time, and there’s no set timeline for recovery. Your loved one may have good and bad days, and their emotions may ebb and flow. Be patient with their process and let them take the lead in determining what they need.
Each person’s journey is unique, so avoid sharing stories of others who bounced back quickly or comparing their grief to someone else’s.
Also, don’t share your fertility challenges unless they specifically ask for that kind of discussion. This time is about their healing, not anyone else’s experiences.
After a miscarriage, your loved one may need to make decisions about their health or whether they want to try to conceive again. Respect and support their choices, even if their decisions differ from what you might do in their situation.
If your loved one is in a relationship, their partner may also be struggling, even if they process grief differently. If possible, offer support to both individuals and avoid making assumptions about who may need more attention.
Grief doesn’t magically disappear after a few weeks or months. Check with your loved one periodically, even after the immediate outpouring of support from others has waned. A simple text or phone call can remind them they’re still in your thoughts.
We’re here to answer all your fertility concerns. Schedule a visit at Gago Center for Fertility today. Call the office near you or request an appointment online.